Diary note No 9 – Captivity

I was born into captivity, into a family, they were in charge, set my daily routine, administered my food, decided when I was heard, what I should see, my destiny.

Those gaolers sent me to an institution that held me captive, defined my agenda, put me in a room, decided what I should learn, when I was good enough, when I should be let out

into another ritual, and on into another asylum.

Gradually I was made fit for an open prison, condemned to a life sentence immersed in a language I had no power to design.

Moment by moment, my thoughts sucked into solitary confinement within a zeitgeist that disguised itself as an dreamscape, shaped with illusions of grandeur.

Captured & captivated, imprisoned & impressed,

As if I was an ant that thought he was a free spirit

As if an elephant that loved to be tethered in a circus tent

Even my imagination ring-fenced.

I was bred in captivity by a family that thought there was a key hidden somewhere safe

As if it could be released in time to avert what is to come.

The ants face extinction

Elephants are shuffling into an abyss

The key never strong enough to turn the lock, and release inmates

These marks, letters, phrases, are a sentence for some and a sentence for all.

The eyes of the wild animal that roves over paragraphs & stanzas are focussed on straight lines.

I don’t see what I don’t see in my captivity.

The mystery of history.

Easter Passover & Resurrection 

https://anchor.fm/embed/a6520d

I rose from the dead 

We’d all love to rise from the dead
and snatch a second chance
from the teeth of history.

Which of you would refuse resurrection
and leave the stones in place
until the winter breaks?

My death was cold
and stank of feces
left by swallows fit to glide away.

I never knew how long my death would last
until I rose again from the jaws of a mystery made
before the stars exploded

and the universe was saved.

 

Portrait of a noble winesmith 

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Portrait

The wine he poured from an old glass

the grape distilled at least twice

the place inherited easily

from bishops, politicians and King.

The first growth he loved

Monsieur Christian –

guardian of the blue pool

alongside mosquitos

pink roses and a caramel tree

fortified juice a white touch –

paid taxes to the elected government

sold bottles for a living

walked in shade

as water flowed up from mountains.

Proprietor with title and vocation,

a travelled homme

le rouge et le blanc.

——

Note:

Written 3 August 2012 after a visit to Chateau de Beaulon