From Bath to Cork with baby Grace

 We don’t own our shadows 

– at least not in the way we own our reflections. 

We don’t control everything. 

The moment I see
a thousand snowdrops waving
to a snowflake sky

Increasingly,

we are urged to ‘live in the moment’.

‘Mindfully be’.

 But who is ‘being’?

Who are you now? 

What’s the story of You?

The being of You?

Originally,
we met thanks to people on Periscope – the live streaming App.  

Scott was sitting on Dublin grass in the Phoenix Park. Drawing the obelix from Egypt that celebrates the military victories of Wellington.

I kept my eye on him.  Every mark he made on paper – every single line. He was too good to ignore, too attractive.

Scott shuffled himself comfortable under the shade of a tree that might have been planted specially for him. 

I heard him offer his drawing to anyone who wanted it. Anyone tuned in live to his “scope”.

The polite thing would have been to wait. 

I said to myself in Cork:

 “Me me me – I want that drawing – it’ll never happen again, boy”

So I whispered – in my loudest internet voice 

“I’ll have it please. May I have it?”

The rest is history… 

(Buy the authorised biography of Scott from Scotland, when it’s published. 45% reduction on published price – only through this site) 

I found it in the Notes App on my iPhone – from 2013. Doubt I wrote it – I like it too much.

_________________
There once was the classic mother-in-law

Who considered she hadn’t a flaw

She knew all the answers

Crosswords and chancers

Until she found she had snot in her jaw

It’s one thing to play the white notes – 

another thing to play black.

One thing to play the right hand –

another to play the left.

But collaborating 

takes you to 

symphony. 

I’ve always been found 

wanting more than a woodpecker carves 

into the last tree 

in the last forest,

wanting more 

than my mother’s ever offered,

– even more than father bestowed 

on one of his good days. 

I was born wanting more time for love. 

I’ve grown hungrier by the day, 

thirstier by night, 

always grasping for clean air. 

There’s never been a father more loved,

ever since letters of infinity 

were strung together 

on a necklace 

that shines with promise

and gradually shrinks 

until it chokes 

the living daylight out of me. 

I’ve always wanted to beg. 

Like most beggers,  

my voice has been feeble 

– barely enough courage 

to pay the price father demanded. 

I’ve always been found 

wanting to trust more.

I’m used to starving. 

Bless me Father, 

for I have sinned 

on a daily basis. 

let me do penance 

– only let me have time to pay. 

Be present today. 

Be present right now.

Present to your ears, eyes, taste, touch, smell & imagination

… and more. 

Be truly fully present 

to the whisperings of your universe.

Listen 

Listen like mad

Listen with your ears

Particularly with your heart

More importantly with your gut

Creatively with your wild imagination

OK? 

Have you been listening?

it was a year that asked to be

buried

or burned on a pyre 

constructed from the shyte

that held my year together.

Or was it …?

Surely there was more to it than that?

Surely there was a before and an after?

Before was wintertime.

Before was the joy of the city of big shoulders,

the invitation to excitement desired,

hope retained,

an event looked forward to.

There was a new year

full of hope

a future to celebrate with Revolution.

There was a period of time

when I prospered.

The joys of March.

Days when my lover’s offer 

came to Cork

were an unmitigated blessing

– before that offer was too much.

All those early days,

all those days before the French holiday,

before the paintbrush 

wiped away the smile from my face 

– I sat by a stream.

I imagined the whispering flow

of water over stone.

I imagined paint on canvas

and fell down in the field

during the drama of women

confronting the god.

Oh how terrible that field,

how awful

until 

months later.

Bless Netflix, bless Breaking Bad.

You were so wonderful.

Where would I have been without …
______________________

Composed on 31 December 2014

• Life of Brian
• Birdman
• Calvery
• Il Postino
• Cinema Paradiso
• The Jungle Book
• Kajaki
• Jean de Florette & Manon des Sources
• The Producers
• La Vita e Bella

__________________________

List compiled in February 2015 (under review)