It’s hard to recall my last Confession
and whether I finished my penance.
I went to Mass at Xmas.
Is it still a sin to sleep
with my best friend’s husband?
I know Limbo’s dead, is Purgatory still alive?
We are a Catholic country.
I believe in God.
I used to like the Crucifixion,
but I really love Easter Eggs.
A Catholic ethos for my child
is what I want. I send a few Christmas cards,
the price of stamps is way too high.
We are a Catholic country.
I never need a Bible,
there’s one on a shelf next to the dictionary.
How would I know it’s Old or New?
I don’t have an elephant’s memory,
but I do know an elephant’s trunk
cannot extinguish the Devil’s flames.
I believe in miracles,
I believe Jesus walked on water,
Ressurection
I believe in the Last Day,
in eternal salvation,
in Heaven and Hell.
We are all Christians
whether we know it or not.
It’s bad manners to talk about my faith.
This is a Catholic country.
I want my child’s First Holy Communion,
with lots of money, and a fancy party.
We both deserve new shoes.
A Catholic ethos in our schools
keeps children safe and saintly.
I’ll fight to the death to keep it alive.
What happens at home
stays at home.
It’s none of your business.