Don’t make your poems rhyme

Don’t make your poems rhyme,

unless you’re a genius with syllables.

Don’t stuff yourself into a wedding dress,

nor imitate Cinderella’s sisters.

Half-rhymes are a different matter,

provided you miss the end of the line.

Ignore my view if you’re happy

to write mediocre cant,

bland, sentimental, niceties

your friends will lap up

and forget.

Crimes against umbrellas,

fine, generous and irritating

stress on the wrong core

of earth where you scatter salt

pepper, cardamom and treacle.

Stop fretting over dictionaries

in search of le bon mot.

You’re better to scatter and slant perspiration

before you blame your education.