I wish


I wish 

I wish for nothing in particular

nor gold, nor silver

nor the slightest material star


Not even the love of another being

nor warmth from the sun.

I  wish for nothing beautiful.


What I crave lies beyond words

beyond prayers, beyond faith

beyond me: it is dead.


It died on a Thursday afternoon

not long before the assent

to the peak of Christmas dawned.


I wish for the return of the property

stolen from air I use to breathe

– I have a nickname for it.


But the memory is punctured

the proper name dribbled away

beyond reach, beyond breath.


It refuses to respond to my cries

lets the echo fester and reek of cracked eggs

in case I forget it wasn’t always so.


I wish it was like Lazarus

reincarnated human.

Maybe I’ll go on wishing and breathing too…



Composed just before xmas 2015. With special thanks to Lars.