I made the poem ‘Rain’ while I was thinking about some of the darker things in life.
Mental issues and how they can push anybody to the edge and sometimes even over the edge. Something I recognise from my own life.
My childhood was rather rough. Maybe because of that, I did a lot of crime and vandalism.
Luckily for me, I found a secret weapon to stop it before it got out of control. Drugs.. and many of them. I drugged my brain for 15 years trying to ignore my problems and feelings. But the brain does not easily forget. You can postpone and try to hide, but it will make you deal with it… one way or the other.
In my case, it just ‘turned on’ anxiety in my brain, and, if I did any kind of drugs, it would give me a panic attack.
Effective and without mercy.
It started five years ago, and I’m still fighting. No drugs – only words, a shrink and some good friends.
Most people can’t handle what they can’t see. We get 80% of our impressions thru our eyes, so expect a lot of people to avoid and ignore you.
But face it anyway… Fight it anyway. And when you get your first victory, keep that sweet little moment in mind when the next black cloud starts to rain..
When black clouds
rained upon me
I used to feel sorry for myself.
I looked at people around me
popping their one man umbrellas
unable to see
unable to hear
the suddenly invisible wet people.
‘we learn for as long as we live’
But I still get caught in the rain
I still get cold
Still haven’t learned
how to unfold my umbrella.
But I do not feel sorry for myself
Bring on the rain
Bring on the cold
I eagerly await.
Await the return of the sun
await for its shield of warm clear light
to spread thru my cold wet body
for the return of my smile
and the end of my sighs.